I feel that I have finally reached an amazing place in terms of my physical ability! Today, I ran 8 miles (after running 10 last week, we are deducting miles in order to allow our bodies to recover before doing higher mileage again), and I felt fantastic! What's even more fun is that I am truly coming to understand well the rhythms and dynamics of my body. I have learned that I have "gears," just like a bicycle. I am able to run one pace and decide to move up or down a gear as my body tells me to. In addition, I have learned how my body will generally perform throughout a run. For the first two miles, I generally feel good about the run. I'm ready to go and am keeping a good and quick pace. By the second mile, I tend to become a bit sluggish and wonder if I'll be able to make it for the entire run. I get down on myself, but I push through knowing that it will get better. I usually have a few average miles in between, after pushing through the frustration. Then, in my final miles, I generally pick up the pace and finish strong. That is exactly how my run went today! I finished in under 11 minutes per mile, an excellent pace for me! Perhaps someday in my life, I will become faster... But for now, under 11 minutes per miles is fabulous for my body's abilities! I continue to feel confident that it is more important for me to sustain myself through an entire long run than to finish faster than everyone else. I am my biggest competitor, so I continue to push myself!

So, I have come to a point where I feel confident that if I were to have to race tomorrow, I would be ready! : ) What a cool feeling! This is a great thing, because now I must focus my energy on fund-raising. I have raised about one-third of my goal at this point. Approximately $1,000 is an incredible amount that I am so excited to give to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (!!!!), but it is only a portion of what I must raise. I am SO GRATEFUL for each donation that friends and family have given. THANK YOU!!!! If you would like to donate and haven't yet done so, please continue to think of me as I am waking at 5:30 AM on a Saturday to complete my training in support of cancer patients everywhere. :-) I am also hoping to come up with additional fund-raising ideas to round out my total. I'm inspired by other TNT teammates every week as they announce a new fund-raiser that they have put together. They continue to make raising funds and awareness for TNT a big part of their lives. I hope to be as strong in my commitment by moving forward with fund-raising.

HOLY COW! Best run yet!!

Oh my goodness, I can barely believe that I just ran 10 MILES!! Thank you SO MUCH to Lindsey, Justin, and Alex for making this run my BEST YET! I'm currently spending the weekend in Ohio, and Alex and I are visiting my best friend from childhood and her husband. Along with Lindsey and Justin's dog Carli, Lindsey and Alex split the mileage running beside me and Justin and Lindsey/Alex rode along with us on bike. Having new scenery to take in, a perfect cool day, and excellent company made this an incredible run. It certainly didn't feel like I was running for nearly two hours!

I'm so blessed... I thank God everyday that he has given me a body that can carry me as far and a mind that will push me to finish. When so many people around the world are in hospital beds fighting their own battles with Leukemia, Lymphoma, and other cancers, I am running.

I am so grateful for this journey... I am learning so much about my body, feeling so strong and healthy, and reaching my goals one week at a time. What an incredible feeling! And I'm so thankful every moment that I receive a donation or raise awareness for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. THANK YOU to each of you who have supported me through every mile and every dollar. You keep me moving, and you bring us one step closer to finding a cure.

Pushing Through

Training is moving right along! We have now reached our peak mileage and are only about a month and a half away from the race. I can't believe that I have been training for one entire semester (my semester ends in two and a half weeks)!! Last weekend was a bit of relief. In order to not overextend the body, we took our mileage down from 8 to 6. And how amazing it felt to say, "It's just 6 miles, no big deal!" Knowing that running 6 miles without stopping is something that I never thought I would experience. And who knows what will be next... I can only hope that I will say "13.1 miles... I've run a half marathon before, that sounds easy!" : ) But I'll just wait until I get through my longest run yet - 10 miles - this weekend!

At this point, I am experiencing a number of ups and downs in my Team in Training experience. I am so excited that my shin splint is finally beginning to diminish! After purchasing new shoes (I firmly believe that my old shoes were the cause of my pain), I began to feel the shin splint becoming less and less noticeable. Now, I do not have to take Ibuprofin before each run in order to get through it, and I am only feeling the pressure of the shin splint from time to time. Hooray! : )

And now, I will confess some of the downs that I'm experiencing... However, it it tough to do so on such a public forum. No one cares to hear a Negative Nancy profess her deepest woes constantly - and that's just not my style. I will be brief, but will share these feelings for the sake of honesty and openness in my journal of my Team in Training experience.

While my body has become so much stronger and capable, I am experiencing what I feel is a plateau of sorts. For over three months now, I have been training well. As I began, the experience was new, intense, and exciting. It never felt difficult to wake at 5 AM to get a work out in for the day, my body was improving its condition and ability everyday, and I couldn't wait until the next moment of the adventure. While I am still and will continue to be wholeheartedly committed to Team in Training, it becomes tougher to work through at this point in the game. I am so proud of what my body is capable of, but the rapid results that I was seeing at first are slowing. I am as capable now of pushing through and completing an entire run, but I find it more difficult as my mentality pulls me down at times. I know that I am capable, there isn't a question, but it often seems easier to say, "I'll just walk for a few minutes, it won't hurt!" Beating that voice is hard, but I must work to achieve greater heights, rather than allow it to bring down my success. My body was fully capable of 5, 6, 7 miles, but reaching 8, and now 10, are true challenges. Never having faces such a challenge before, I have found myself genuinely afraid as my 8-mile and 10-mile runs have approached. I do feel, however, that I am beginning to move uphill in this plateau battle. After facing each workout and each day at a time, I feel that I am putting my chin up and becoming stronger mentally than I was before.

One final note about a down that I am facing through this experience is in regard to fundraising. I knew, registering to be a part of Team in Training, that I would be incredibly challenged to raise $2,900 to participate in the San Diego half marathon and to provide care and research for Leukemia & Lymphoma patients everywhere. However, I had faith. And I still do! But it is very difficult at times... I have barely begin to bring in the funds that I need to to move forward with this journey, and I am becoming more and more fearful everyday that I will not raise enough funds to allow me to reach my goal. Asking people to give of their own money, especially in difficult financial times, is extremely frightening and tough. I am thinking more everyday of new resources that I may tap and new creative ideas that I may use to raise money, but time is running thin. If you have creative ideas or resources, please send them my way!

Okay, enough with the negatives! The bottom line is that I am working toward achieving something that I never have before. And I know that I must prevail because this is for more than myself. This is for people everywhere whose fathers, mothers, siblings, family members, significant others, friends, and loved ones have been faced with cancer. While they endure chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, doubt, and pain, I endure early mornings, sweat, soreness, and physical challenge. Hardly a comparison... And so I must move forward.

Thank you to everyone who has been reading these messages. I am incredibly grateful for your interest and support!! Please let me know what you think via comments on this blog, Facebook posts, emails, calls, etc. I LOVE to hear your thoughts and encouragement - you help to pull me through!

Am I really doing this? I AM!

Each Saturday, I feel an increased sense of accomplishment as I leave group training! This week, we upped our mileage to EIGHT MILES! Holy cow! Weeks ago, I was saying "There is NO WAY that I can do more than three miles at a time!" Now, I'm thanking God that next week, we taper our mileage to five miles for a week. : ) However, it is one week after that that we increase to TEN MILES. Can I do this? There have been moments where I have truly doubted that I can, but I KNOW THAT I CAN DO THIS! I know that I am getting stronger and stronger with each passing week. I am getting out of bed each Saturday morning, while most of us are still snuggled tightly in our sleepy beds, to run 5, 6, 7, and now 8 miles! This is sincerely a proud experience, but I as I feel increasingly more accomplished, I also become increasingly more aware of why programs such as Team in Training exist...

Today, after I had run my eight miles, I was chatting with some team members. I recognized one woman from seeing her at a majority of the practices, and she had usually been out there with us. She told us that she had been training with TNT since 2005, and she has been a TNT "Coach" for the majority of the years that she has been a part of the program. Today, she was spending time with the team with her dog Ollie, but she wasn't in her running gear. She explained that she has cancer, and that today she wasn't feeling very well to run. When we asked her to tell us more of her story, she told us that she had breast cancer a few years ago, but that treatment went well. Then, they discovered that the breast cancer had spread to her liver. Treatments for that went well also. Unfortunately, now the cancer has returned again in her bones, and she is undergoing more treatment for that. On the outside, she looks to be a healthy, happy woman. How is it that cancer, this disgusting, silent monster could hurt so many people unnecessarily? This woman, with such a beautiful spirit and positive outlook, is forced to come to terms with this silent killer. Even as she said, "It's Stage 4, and it doesn't look like it will go away." she was smiling and showing us that she feels everything is going to be okay. While she is finding strength to battle this monster, she shouldn't have to....

And that is why I must run. Many weekday mornings at 5:00 AM, hours before many alarm clocks even think of chiming. That is why I run. Every Saturday morning when my body is craving extra hours of sleep. That is why I run. More miles than I ever knew that my body could.

For our TNT Coach, and millions of other men and women worldwide who have experienced that "monster" that we call cancer.... This is why I run.